BDSM loosening its tight hold

Why people should be talking about this sexual act

February 2008, in a small town in Quebec, a couple got into trouble after engaging in 48 hours of BDSM.  The night in question, Patrick Deschatelets went out to buy pasta, leaving a woman alone, hanging from a chain. This lead to the death of the woman due to asphyxiation by a metal collar that Deschatelets put on his submissive partner.  Deschatelets, the dominant party was arrested and later convicted of manslaughter

This BDSM couple illustrate how an evening of tryst can quickly get complicated when pushing the extremes.  If we compare the physical extremes that athletic people push themselves to in order to feel the gratifying endorphins after the activity is completed to BDSM, both acts are legal, however athletic activities are more public than the latter. An athlete’s physical activities are accepted in today’s North American society. Different popularized activities have been tested and measured. We have experts that study these best practices and are able to give advice and train people looking to start out. There is reliable information available in books and magazines that can help to guide them in their quest, and the subject, being a social norm can be discussed with anyone from their family doctors to their friends and colleagues.


 

 

 


BDSM is a huge industry with specialty sex stores selling paraphernalia that facilitate these activities. These items can be bought, or created from things around the house.  So how does one collect information when they are starting out?  And for experienced sex partners to escalate their activities, how can they figure out how this is done safely? Throughout North American public schools the topic of sexual education, understanding the biology of the human body and our reproductive systems is discussed on a scientific level.  But is that enough?  There is so much more practical information like sexual positions and sexual practices that are overlooked entirely.  For some, the mystery around certain curiosities will persist until they’ve tried it for themselves. When it comes to the act of sex, no one out there is reinventing the wheel.   Humans have been practicing sexual intercourse for our entire existence.  The information is out there, in the minds of elders, kept in books and videos.  However, the subject often has trouble surpassing its social taboo.

  Even more so for BDSM, there are plenty of videos catering to the genre where the act can be seen. But movies are full of deception, leaving the how to process a mystery.  This curiosity of the unknown often draws curios minds through a process of trial and error. Unfortunately in the case of someone like Partick Deschatelets, he is learning from a very negative and maybe even traumatic experience.   One sure fire way of creating more safety for extreme experiences is through communication, and education. BDSM is not every couple’s interest, however it is a reality for several others. We should all be informed about the different conditions that can harm or enhance our experiences. Knowledge is a tool that has the power to change our perceptions. Get to know more by talking to real specialists at local Sexual Health Centres. Share your thoughts and any important information you learn with your friends to spread awareness. The bedroom’s best kept secret may be a dangerous one as well.